As usual you guys have so much to say!! So….I’ve taken some time to ask you what it is actually like to Come Out! One day, people like us won’t have to ‘Come Out’, it will not be an issue for us to be LGBT and our sexual orientation will be of little interest. But because we are not quite there yet some of choose to ‘Out’ ourselves to family, friends or total strangers. This really is the first step to freeing your mind, letting go of fear and stress and embracing who you are… That’s how it was for me anyway!
Over the past few weeks I’ve had a number of discussions with people about what it was like for them to Come Out. It’s become clear that it is very different for each one of us. This is due to many factors like 1.who we tell, 2.when we choose to tell and 3.how old we are when we Come Out. Each experience is personal to you and that’s why I was interested to hear what you guys had to say. The same 3 questions I asked to a bunch of people; How old were you, who did you tell and how did you feel? Take a look at what was said…
“I was 23 or 24. I told my friend Elly and the feeling of relief was the most overwhelming. I Came Out fully when I was 26 to my friends and family because I had met someone. Everyone was very positive which really helped so it felt pretty good. Then I came out at work and then felt much more relaxed.”
“I was 24, almost 25, and technically my first girlfriend was who ‘found out’ first but I told my brother. I was so happy that I had found someone so amazing! Weirdly a few weeks before I met my girlfriend, now wife, I had very nearly told my brother I might be gay. So when I finally did tell him I felt ok about it and he was great. He was shocked, had no clue, giggled a bit and asked when I’d tell mum!”
“I Came Out when I was 21. The first person I told was my friend from University. She handled it so well & this made me feel more relaxed but I was still scared. It took me a while to realise that it was OK and that she didn’t really care. When I told my parents soon afterwards it was a huge relief as I hated lying to them”
“I came out when I was 12. I told my sister because she already knew! I knew from a very young age that I was gay, I was a very effeminate boy and showed all the ‘gay’ characteristics so there was no getting away from it really. She was amazing, fully supportive and she was so happy that I had realised it for myself. I was relieved and thankful that she could help me tell our parents. I didn’t do that immediately but at least one person know and that was enough for a while.”
“I Came Out when I was 16. The first person that I told was my teacher in school. She was my tutor and also taught me Maths. I had a comfortable relationship with her and I decided it was the right thing to do because she noticed changes in me and that I was not myself. I am grateful for this now as who knows who I would have told or when if she hadn’t noticed something was up. So we sat and had a chat and I said that I thought I was gay. At first I was upset when I was speaking but then I felt really happy that someone listened to me and understood me.”
“I Came Out when I was 17. I spoke to my mum, basically I told her I was seeing a woman. She was fine about it all. I think she already had some idea anyway. I felt really relieved and very happy.”
These are just a few of the experiences that people have had Coming Out. Of course not all experiences are so positive but the common theme seems to be that people felt like it was the right choice for them. Remember if you are afraid or feel alone there is always someone that you can talk to. Below are some links to useful websites with more key information.
XX The Outing XX
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4k02pR7FP6J4C83C5t7HZdM/coming-out Good Movie here!