Firstly, thank you for those of you who are sharing stories, opinions and spreading the love on Twitter. I know it’s hard to tell your story to someone else, never mind give permission to have it on the internet so thanks to those of you who have. I’d like to share another part of my Coming Out story… The bit when I told my parents.
I had been seeing ‘Bus Stop Girl’ for roughly 7 weeks. During this time I was running around pretty much telling most people lies. I had told a few of my close friends the truth, which wasn’t all good, but I had not told my parents or any member of my family. I chose an epically wrong weekend to tell them, away together for a funeral. Not my finest choice or the greatest timing but it felt right. I was sick of lying through omission, just lying and not being myself. It was also not long into the big discovery but I knew it was not a ‘phase’. I wanted to tell them as it was important for me to be true to them and to myself. I knew it was going to be difficult and I had no clue how they were going to react but I knew this was the time. I wanted them to understand that I was happy.
We got back to the house in the evening and they were sitting down in the living room. If I remember correctly I literally just blurted it out. I said “you know the girl from work, well I am going out with her…”. I’d Done It, No Going Back Now!! The scariest moment of my life so far then and I don’t think I’ve had a more important one since then. What happened afterwards was tough, my parents have always been supportive of me, of anything that I had ever done but this was going to be a challenge. They cried, I cried, we all cried. For me it was a bit of relief for getting it out and sadness that I felt that I was some how letting them down. Now I know that that was a silly thing to feel but it’s how I felt at the time. There was a mention of ‘no marriage’ or gran-kids etc.. all of which is very possible but as far as they were concerned this was not a normal route so these things may never happen. I don’t remember much after this except that they had to go home and take it all in. They needed time to soak in this massive piece of information which I was still having difficulty with in many ways.
Luckily for me my parents have embraced my sexuality, well they have supported me as a gay woman. I would imagine it was hard for them, their religion would have been brought into question, as well as all other social ‘norms’ that their generation would have been used to. They have spent time learning about my way of life and have always welcomed my girl friends into our family home. My dad even went to a Pride Parade to show support! It took some adjusting for everyone but I have always felt supported. Parents will worry – that’s their job but thankfully they don’t worry that I’m gay but worry if I’m happy, lonely, safe, healthy… all the things that parents should worry about for their children. So if you decide that you want to tell your parents that you are gay I hope that you have the courage to do it. Do it for you! It may or may not end up like this but at least you will be living as YOU and not as someone else. Just getting it out there is the biggest step and the most rewarding one.
#ComingOut #Gayisokay #Lesbian #HappyOut #TheOutingProject #Gay #LGBT #Stonewall #Out #YoungPeopleOut #GayOut #ItGetsBetter #StrongerTogether