Blooming Late! TJ shares her Coming Out story with The Outing…!
I’m 25 and just come out to my family this year, I thought I would email you my coming out story as a way to help others on their journey on finding their true feelings about their sexuality.
It all started at the age of 11/12 when I had a crush on a teacher at my school, she was in her early 20s and I thought about her alot but at the time I didn’t know that these feelings were normal so I kept how I felt to myself, as time went on a few of my female friends admitted they had crushes on women and a friend had a crush on our PE teacher, it was then I understood I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.
When I was 14 I ended up sleeping with a female school mate and it blew my mind, It was a one off but it made me even more confused as I still felt attracted to guys!!
As I got older I dated a couple of guys to fit in with most my friends who were now dating guy’s but I wasn’t happy I felt there was something missing but I couldn’t put my finger on it, finally at the age of 16 I accepted that I must be bisexual and I came out to a few friends who were all fine about it, then everything changed when I met my first girlfriend she made me so happy and gave me the confidence to be my true self, we only dated 8 months but she opened my eyes to the fact being gay wasn’t a bad thing some people are just born this way.
When I was 18 I decided to tell some close friends I was in fact a lesbian which none of them had a problem with, but there was still one hurdle to jump and that was telling my family, i had a few relationships but I kept them a secret from my family as I was away at college at the time so they didn’t know anything at all.
It wasn’t till December last year when my auntie spotted me liking lesbian things on facebook like long distance couples and LGBT groups when she asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her I said ‘no everything is fine’ it wasn’t till I went to my mums that I found out my auntie had told my mum and my mum just aksed me outright if I was gay, she said she didn’t care if I was but my sister started laughing and thought it was amusing so I just said ‘no’ and that was the end of the conversation.
I finally came out to my auntie the next day as I felt overwhelmed by it all, she was fine about it and told me just to be happy and find someone I want to be with, this year in January me and my sister were sat at home and she was like “You haven’t had a boyfriend for agesssss are you not bored of being single?” and I just said no, she then said “Is there a guy or woman that you like?” it was then that I came out to her and told her how I felt and she didn’t care less in fact she started trying to find me a date! (She didn’t have much luck though!) and I’ve come out to the rest of my family and they are not really bothered as they just want me to be happy.
Its scary coming out for the first time as you worry about peoples reactions but don’t let that put you off, if they give a negative reaction then walk away, give them space and time to get their heads around what is happening as it can be alot for someone to take in, if friends react badly then start being nasty or don’t want to know you then let it be as you don’t need people like that in you life anyway, there are always other people to talk to who are going through the same as you, the LGBT community is a great support and help. 🙂 🙂